1. Be a Better…Beauty.

    NEW SERIES: Be Better Reviews:

    BB Cream…reviewed.

    I’m so f*cking sick of hearing about the magic goo that might transform my semi doughy face into Charlize Theron and grow larger breasts as a potential side effect. I mean, unless it’s a jar full of scalpels, it’s not going to carve new cheekbones, right? 

    Well, fat face aside, I’ve found a beauty product that actually does what it says and doesn’t make me want to spray my face down with a firehouse from a short distance, within 5 minutes of application! YAY for shit that actually works. 

    Let’s talk BB Cream. 

    First of all, since I am a natural skeptic, the name BB cream just sucks. And it makes me think of this:

    or this:

    YUCK. But I got past my initial worries and just decided to let it go because some crazy Europeans made it up and that’s why it was so dumb. (AMERICA!) Good thing we made up names like the KFC Double Down, Four LOKO, and Sweet N’ Low.

    Anyway, I went to my local Sephora and got me a sample of their best BB cream…Smashbox was the premier choice, and because it was a free sample, I obviously asked for the best most expensive one. 

    Here’s what it’s supposed to do for your face: (straight from the Smashbox site)

    PRIMES: Wear alone, or under your favorite foundation to create a smooth canvas.
    PERFECTS: Tinted formula in 5 shades evens out skin for a flawless finish.
    HYDRATES: Improves skin moisture in 4 weeks. Guaranteed.
    PROTECTS: SPF 35 guards against UVA/UVB rays. BB is loaded with anti-aging peptides for a decrease in fine lines over time
    CONTROLS OIL: Minimizes shine with no chalky finish.

    Now, calm down Smashbox...I don’t know about all that, but here’s what I DO know after using your magic goo for a week:

    • -My face looks less like an oil slick and more glowy than it ever has.
    • -I don’t wear foundation, so this works great for covering the scales to the general population. Without it, I look like this:
    • -Foundation makes me feel like I’ve landed the starring role in the re-imagination of Memoirs of a Geisha…this feels more like starring on the real life version of Dora the Explorer…I can pretty much conquer the world and traverse the wilderness while still maintaining some dignity.

    Alright so here’s the point. I like this crap and you should try it for yourself. At least go get a free sample from Sephora and see what you think before you fork over your hard earned $39.99. Check it out HERE

    And no, the company did not pay me for this post…I would have to probably reduce my expletives by about 50% to do professional product reviews, and I’m just not cut out for that.

    On a related note, I feel like the Roger Ebert of beauty. I win!

    P.S. If you are wanting to spend less moolah, here’s a cheap option that I have no idea if it works or not, but I’d love to get a report back if you try it! Garnier BB Cream