Every night during this time of year there seems to be ANOTHER f*cking holiday shindig to attend. Now, I’m not complaining…but you’ve really gotta make stopping by your event worth it for people. I can’t count how many holiday events I go to and end up wishing that I could crawl back into my non-existant time machine and forget that I ever went.
Here are some rules to make your holiday party NOT suck:
Invitation Protocol: Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Facebook. I would kiss Mark Zuckerberg on the mouth if I wasn’t dating the love of my life, AND if he didn’t look like a sweaty fish all the time. If you want people to come to your party, Facebook is fine, but if you want to really get on people’s calendars…you’ll need to email them. Just saying, DO BOTH. Yes, it’s very fun to see that list of people accepting your invite and making you feel validated and like you actually have friends, but most people, myself included, are RARELY going to accept or look at a FB invite. Plus, all that time you spent designing the invite photo will be wasted when you can’t even click on the photo and it just becomes an ugly unreadable icon of non-information.
Party Playlist Management: Christmas carols are awesome. I have danced in my underwear to Mariah Carey’s yuletide magic many a time. BUT, three hours of Christmas classics is too f*cking much. Do not let Pandora take the reigns on this. DO NOT. Mix in some Christmas favorites with modern good-ass music and you’ll be better off. If I wanted to listen to non-stop Amy Grant Christmas Edition, I’d go to the grocery store, or my parents house. To avoid your guests going on a Christmas rampage, really give that playlist some time and effort.
No Dress Code(i.e. Christmas Sweaters): We are no longer in college (well, some of us)…there’s no need to wear an ugly sweater to be ironic. Maybe in a Pre-Hipster society this was a funny indicator that “yeah! we are cool and hip and aren’t afraid to be different!” but now…it’s just plain dumb and I refuse to invest in a purposely hideous piece of clothing. Also, all the ugliest sweaters in the Tri-State area have already been ravaged by the entire population of Williamsburg, as everyday wear.
Don’t Invite the Borings: OK, so maybe you have to invite them, but you’ve got to ensure that you are going to have a couple key players in the room to keep people’s spirits up. Make sure you get THOSE people to your event and it won’t matter how boring everyone else is.
Don’t Go Into Sad Girl Mode: Alright, I see that you’ve been baking all day and slaving over pinecone napkin rings. It’s party time and half the guests just plain aren’t coming. The regretful texts start rolling in and you are almost ready to cry in your raspberry-cheesecake cookie muffins. Get over it. People have other places to be and you didn’t lure enough bozos in with your promise of home made shit. IT’S OK. Focus on making the time intimate and special for people that are there and please wipe that disappointed look off your face, apron+crying=not cute.
Keep It Casual: You’re stressing people out. Yes, you. You with the intense invitation, 16 follow up emails, list of what to bring, list of what not to bring, links to google satellite of how to get to the event by plane/train/foot/hovercraft, and the promise of treats. We are overwhelmed and if your shindig is anywhere as annoying as the process leading up to it is, I’m going to RSVP a big, fat, NO.
Christmas Booze: BYOB is totally cool. Having no supplies at the ready, just in case, is not. Sure, there will be those
losers guests, who come empty-handed, but they were gonna come that way anyway. If you don’t want to spend a lotta moolah, make a signature cocktail or a big batch of hot-boozy goodness (recipe coming tomorrow!) for everyone to partake in. A dry party is a stupid party, so grease the social anxiety with some adult juice and I promise your guests will be happy to stay all night long.
All I want for Christmas is a fun holiday party,