Although it’s currently sunny and 80 degrees in New York City, I know what’s coming.
It seems like this year has been one giant monsoon that’s pretty much sentenced me to a season of looking like Ms. Frizzle (minus the ginger beat) of Magic School Bus fame. I’m not good at the rain…growing up in the Texan desert has certainly not prepared me for dealing with such things as frizzy hair, running makeup, and inverted umbrellas. (Though it did prepare me for illegally crossing the border, eating lots of mexican food, and a body that’s acclimated to heat)
So I’m finally learning, just in time for the end of rainy season (just in time for the f*cking Arctic Tundra that is just around the corner), how to be better at dressing for inclement weather. Let’s do this bitches.
The menfolk have it easier pretty much all the time…rainy days included.
-Guys, invest in a good looking raincoat. Something with zip or good closing pockets to store your precious gadgets, since you are typically sans purse.
-Hunter makes an amazing lace up rain boot that won’t make you look like Paddington Bear or like you are wearing your girlfriend’s Wellies.
-Also, go ahead and splurge for the big umbrella. We ladies, will inevitably forget ours at the apt and we will be needing 1/2 of your jumbo beach umbrella. Maybe stick with black or grey…if not, there’s a strict possibility of you looking like you are a float tamer at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade…and we all know that’s never a good look.
-Pop a comb in your pocket and after running around in the rain, run it through your hair to get that mop of yours under control, especially if you have to be moderately professional.
-Want to feel like an adult? Buy an umbrella stand for your house. Only adults own those, I promise.
-Lastly, bring a good book (yes a REAL book, those Kindlepads can’t get wet!), because rain always means…longer subway rides, traffic, and your lady will take longer to try and rehab her look, so bring something to entertain yourself.
Ladies, I think you are with me on the notion of just giving up on looking like a human-being on a rainy day. I usually look like something between a Swamp Monster and a 60-year old science teacher.
What You’ll Need:
-How often do we get to wear something sort of waterproof, pleathery, and bright? (Don’t answer that) This is our moment to break out the ridiculousness that IS the raincoat. Buy a really fun one so those rainy days at least are a good excuse to wear that crazy ass piece of outwear.
-I think most rain boots are hideous, heavy, and make lady calves look more like linebacker calves. So these short, lace ups from Urban Outfitters are an excellent option to the typical rain boot.
-Using the same idea as your rain coat, let your umbrella be patterned, bright, and make a statement. You’ll be able to find your gear much faster in the clusterfuck umbrella stand for sure. Also, I’ve noticed that we ladies are not so good with wielding our brellies…maybe pick a smaller model due to the strict fact that every time I use a large umbrella I gouge at least one eye out and/or impale a small child.
-Don’t forget to keep a couple hair bands and an extra emergency tube of water proof mascara for the moment when you realize you’ve forgotten about that “after work drink” and you need a beauty pick me up. Slap on some bright lipstick and you’ll be all set and lookin’ fresh.
Be Better at Rain people….