1. Be Better at…Meeting People.

    I am very aware that I am about to get a lot of panties in a bunch with this post. But, ladies and gentleman, stay with me. Unclench. Breathe. 

    At one time I was mystified, when seemingly hot, normal, fun friends of mine would never get approached by the gentleman kind…and then why some who were less-hot, significantly less funny, and kind of a bore, would be beating men off with sticks.  I think I have some ideas of why this can happen.

    Now, so I don’t get virtually put in the naughty corner for this post a couple of disclaimers:

    1. These are not ways to engage in a long lasting relationship
    2. This is totally about being approached, I can’t do anything about your awkwardness, or inability to communicate after the initial ”hello”
    3. Again, these are not long term dating tips, and no I am not stuck in the 1950’s or in some weird anti-feminist movement…I’m speaking from experience. That’s it. 
    4. If you want to say these don’t work, that’s fair. But get used to buying your own drinks. 
    5. There are ALWAYS exceptions to every rule. You might find that some guys aren’t like this…but I’m speaking in generalities here, and if you are looking to dedicate your entire lifestyle to something you read on an idiot girl’s blog, you have larger issues. These are general guidelines, take them that way.

    OK..let’s get down to business.

    5 Small Reasons You Aren’t Being Approached By The Male Species:

    -Red Lipstick: Let’s start small here ladies. I am with you on the red lipstick bandwagon. I love it and think it makes you look striking, classic, and fashion forward. But guess what? No guy wants that shit near them. It’s scary..like tampons, crying fits, and drop-crotch pants. Even if you just met, they are still thinking that if they kissed you, they would end up looking like Heath Ledger as the Joker (RIP). You might warn them it’s the color stay kind, or that it’s a lip stain…they DO. NOT. CARE. (and do not understand what lip stain is, thank God) They might think you look beautiful, but it’s a hurdle that most are a little wary of. Save the red lipstick for girl’s night or when you aren’t looking to have male interaction. No one wants the Scarlett Letter on their face at da’ club. 

    -Clothes That Girl’s Like: You’re getting ready, you’ve got your floral shirt on, buttoned all the way up, shredded denim vest rocking, striped skinny pants looking fly…heavy on the jewels…hair in some braided coiffe. You feel amazing. If you were in Soho, surely the Sartorialist would ask you for a photo and millions would be inspired. Your girlfriends can’t stop talking about how “chic” you look tonight. And then what…you go out and NO ONE TALKS TO YOU. Except maybe that girl in the bathroom, who asks you which Opening Ceremony location you got your shoes from, because they were totally out of those platform wedges at the LA store. So what’s your problem? YOU ARE WEARING CLOTHES THAT GIRLS LIKE. I mean, don’t get me wrong…I know lots of guys who appreciate cutting-edge style and daring fashion, but even the most apprecitave guy will be intimidated by all of “that” at first. Also, there are a lot of dudes who just won’t get it (they might still be awesome). I am all for being an individual and dressing outlandishly, trust me, but if I was going somewhere in the hopes that someone was going to chat me up, I certainly wouldn’t be trying to channel Tokyo street style in that moment. As crass and shallow as this sounds, men probably want to see you in something simple, showing off your best assets, so they can really see YOU, not just spend 10 minutes trying to understand if that’s a shirt or pants or some siamese shirt-pant. Show some leg, wear colors that flatter you, and be stylish, not ridiculous. After you snag the man, wear whatever you want…by that time, he’ll be warmed up!

    -Gaggle of Girls: Who doesn’t like girls night, right? Well, that’s all great, but if a man has to tuck and roll to penetrate a wall of 15 of your “besties” singing “We Are Young” at the top of their lungs…he’ll probably just pass. You have created a Berlin wall of estrogen. No man wants to traverse that. The easiest way to meet people is when you are in groups of 3-4…not your entire adult sorority/book club/AA group.

    -Hair Up: Wear your hair down and add some volume. If that sounds shallow, it totally is. Again, this is just a tip for the first meeting, not for the rest of your life. It’s just plain pretty when it’s down and flowy, and if you have short hair, do something with it that doesn’t involve attaching birds or headbands or scarfs. PLEASE. 

    -I Can Do Everything: Change your attitude. If you give off the vibe that you know everything about everything and you can get your own drink, and move your own furniture…that’s great. Just get used to doing that for the rest of your life. You aren’t being helpless, but you are creating space for men to be men and help you out once in a while. I bet that “We Can Do It” girl is still out there, single and wearing that damn headscarf. 

    NOTE: If you are a pissed off woman or man after reading this, please see my disclaimers above and take things on the internet a little less seriously. Oh, and send all hate mail to bebetterblogger@gmail.com!

    Happy Thursday Nugs!

    xo Chinae


  2. Be a Better…Dresser.

    Murse Edition: 

    For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term Murse…where the hell have you been?

    BUT for those of you that have been camping out under a rock,  just to clairfy, here’s the fashion equation: MAN+PURSE=MURSE.

    Sh*t can really get weird when it comes to men’s accessories and this weekend, while out and about shopping with my mother who was visiting, I saw some major train-wrecks that did not go unnoticed by my judging eyes.  This got me thinking…it must be hard for a self-respecting man to admit to himself that he NEEDS a purse. In New York in particular, every guy carries one, but few do it right. You either look like you are mid-Appalachian hike, confused about your gender status, or part of the infamous Best Buy Geek Squad. (shoutout)

    So here we go men of the world…how to carry a purse and not look like a complete douchelord, bike messenger, hell’s angel, or heaven forbid…tourist.

    For the Tech Guy: You can be a tech guy AND still look fashionable (to a point). Yeah, you can school me in the newest software upgrades for my macbook AND make me style swoon for you. Jack Spade is a great brand who does clean, modern, yet sophisticated man bags that make any nerd a little bit cooler. You can upload to my hard drive anytime gentleman. 

    Visit them HERE

    For the Modern Gentleman:

    Oh, my favorite flavor of man. The modern gentleman is always put together, well-groomed, fashion forward and usually better looking than me. Sigh. OUT are the days of a hard-sided dad briefcase and IN are the stylish, yet effortless man-ssecories of today. Try out Ernest Alexander and you’ll be hooked for life. Not only are his bags (and now clothes!) perfectly designed, but they are also super high quality, AND made in the USA. You want to get a fashion gal’s heart palpitating? Show up with the latest EA bag and I guarantee you’ll gain major points…and you’ll look like these guys…HELLO?! (photo by Eric Ryan Anderson for Ernest Alexander) Visit them HERE

    For the Outdoorsy Guy:

    Now as a girl who thinks the pinnacle of the outdoors is a pool cabana, you outdoorsy men are a mystery to me in a lot of ways. But one thing I can be clear on is that a Jansport is not the only answer for you. Herschel Supply Co. does simple, durable, bags that make your granola-eating ass look way legit.  I cannot vouch for their resistance to bear attacks, cliff falls, or nalgene leakage issues….but i’m sure they’ll do alright. 

    Visit them HERE

    Cheers to burning our fanny packs, briefcases, and ziploc baggies!

    x chinae


  3. Be a Better…Dresser.

    Mandals Editions:

    My eyes are burning, my stomach feels nauseous, and I can’t walk down the street without wanting to scream obscenities at people. It’s that time of year folks…Mandals season. 

    Now for those of you not familar with the term Mandals…lemme break it down. 


    I’m not sure what’s happening with the current state of affairs in our country, but we are really in the trenches here people. In my awesome 25 years..I’ve never witnessed such foot-based abominations as I have this summer.  Look, I get that I live in Park Slope, the sensible shoe capital of the world (I’m looking at you: vegans, eco-friendly lesbians, moms, graphic designer stay-at-home dads, juice bar consumers), and I work in Soho, the European Visitor capital of the world…but why must I be subjected to such atrocities. And beyond that…I work on the same city street as the Crocs store. WTF. This is some cruel joke…and guess what’s across the street? CHANEL. Mother F-ing CHANEL. This is what they meant by the Tribulation folks. Welcome.

    An Open Letter to you Lydon Hanson, Scott Seamans, and George Boedecker, inventors of Crocs footwear:

    Dear L, S, and G,

    This is a cruel joke that you have played on society. I’m guessing this is how the process went…Over too many flaming shots of Barcardi 151, you asked each other how embarrassingly awful you could make a shoe look, but convince the general public that comfort matters more than looking like a complete doucher. I feel like this is all a joke…I pray that one day you will reveal yourselves… like the Insane Clown Posse revealed themselves as Evangelical Christians while writing music about “Bugz on my Nutz”… tell me this is just your little social experiment and then make them go away. PLEASE. 

    Save us from this, we don’t deserve it. Oh, and stay away from the CHANEL store.

    xoxo Chinae

    Alright so now that that’s done… let’s see the Acceptable, Utterly Terrible, and some tips on Summer Men’s Footwear!

    Let’s start with the BAD:

    My retinas are burning and you can bet your life I cleared my search history after putting this together. Ok….so we’ve already heard my rant on…

    1) Crocs: Unless you are a chef, gardener, or are wading through swamps for a living, you can’t own these. And don’t do this to your kids either, you’ll have a 25 year old child who can’t tie shoes and has no friends.

    2)Leather Tevas: this is a favorite in the Slope. You are not hiking, and for God-sakes you are around other humans, you have enveloped your foot in a leather cage of ugly.

    3) Adidas Slip-On’s: Unless you are a high school basketball player in 1997 (and i’m pretty sure time travel hasn’t been invented) you aren’t allowed to sport these.

    4)THE CREEPIEST SHOE EVER: I don’t care if they are good for balance and running, it’s scary and I’ll never be on board with this. I don’t care if they cure AIDS…not happening.

    5) A Leather Fitness Sandal: Welp, I think that pretty much sums it up. You should save the $200 bucks (and your dignity) and buy yourself a two-month gym membership instead.

    6) The Name Brand Flip Flop: You are probably a guido or foreign. I love visitors to our country…really, I do…but the TSA needs to start checking for these in suitcases coming from Europe and/or NJ.

    And now for the Good:

    These are all socially acceptable options for the male foot region in the summertime. Try a Sperry’s Topsider in this cool grey tone…goes with everything and looks great even worn in. Also for a more formal option…check out these grey suede cuties from J. Crew…they will transition nicely into the Fall and you’ll look effortlessly stylish at the 9986 weddings you are attending this June. For some sneaker options, I like these two gems…the white patent WeSC shoes are for the more daring, they are a great marriage between a boat shoe and a sneaker in that crisp white. As always, the Converse All Star is a winner and can transition from day to evening with the right ensemble. And if you MUST wear a Mandal….just stick with a simple leather flip flop like these classic Rainbows. 

    Style Tip: To refresh an older pair of shoes, pick some new bold colored laces like the ones above from J. Crew. It’ll breathe some new life into your old faithfuls!

    Now, if I see you in any of these “bad” shoes, I am allow to put you in a rear naked chokehold.

    xoxo Chinae