My 5 Favorite Products Edition:
You know those stupid articles in girly magazines that are the “5 Essential Products a Girl Can’t Live Without”? Yeah, well. I’m doing one of those. But seriously, they certainly aren’t paying me or giving me free product to put this shit on my crappy lil blog…so you should probably listen.
1. Nivea Sun-Kissed Beautiful Legs: My Korean-Irish skin combo isn’t helping matters in the sense of looking bronze naturally. I’m somewhere between jaundice and olive, let’s call it Jaulive™. So I need some help, especially when nature’s been giving me the finger on the weekends with raining out my beach plans this summer. As a gal who’s tried every tanning lotion on the market, I can say that this is my fave for everyday use. There’s no weird smell, stays even, and after a few days of applying, I start to look like I’ve been outside before. The bottle says Sun-kissed legs but the rest of my body must be pretty dumb because it hasn’t seemed to notice that I’m using this all over.
2. Philosophy Supernatural: I find that most gals fall into two camps with foundation/powder. Either your face looks like the surface of the Moon, OR you look like a Geisha (the third camp is the naturally perfect skin like Giselle camp, and you can all go to hell). I think I’ve found the perfect medium, ladies. Supernatural kinda lives up to it’s name…It’s a light powder that gives perfect coverage without feeling cakey. I’ll never go backkkk.
3. Ardell Lashes: Pretty much daily I get two questions: 1) What mascara do you use? and 2) Which way is Canal Street? So to address question #1…I DO love my mascara ( L’Oreal Voluminous), but my secret sauce is false eyelashes. Now, do yourself a favor and never buy expensive falsies. Trust me, I’ve been doing this song and dance for 10 years DAILY now…me and Dolly Parton, fighting the good fight out there. I usually buy Ardell lashes from the drug store and they work brilliantly.
Here are the answers to the many questions I get when people ask about eyelashes so you can stop bugging me and I’ll be able to point you to this Q+A:
Do you take them off at night? YES. I do.
Do they bother you? Not at all, like my rule in life…if you are doing it right…it shouldn’t hurt too bad.
Do you cut them? Yep! You’ll need to cut them lengthwise unless you’re Steve Buschemi.
Am I going to look weird with them? I’ve embraced looking like a drag queen most days.
How do I know the right ones to buy? Start with the more natural looking ones and then as you get used to them, you can move up to the RuPaul Big Leagues with me.
How long does one pair last? 2-3 weeks if you treat ‘em nice.
Will you help me put them on? NO.
4. Make Up Forever Aqua Creamliner in Black: It’ll last you FOREVER and it stays put all day long, even through sweat, water, excel document torment, and oily face. Trust me.
5. L’Oreal Paris Infallible Lipcolor in Beyonce Red: Now, I hate to admit that my favorite color is named after a soul-pop sensation but yeah, I’m over it. Beyonce probably had nothing to do with this anyway. This lipcolor will stay on longer than you want it to. Forget if it’s drink-proof, it’s makeout proof. I went ahead and tested this for you, dear readers, and yes.it.is.
Now, only if I could rub Beyonce Red on my legs and get Beyonce thighs.