Out to Eat Edition:
Eating is easy. Talking is easy. Manners are pretty easy. Doing all three simultaneously with someone that makes your stomach feel like worms is not as easy. How do you navigate dinner date night and make your lil’ lady feel super special without looking like a total tool?
5 Ways to Win on Date Night:
-Take Charge of Planning: You know what I f*cking hate? Being asked out and then having to plan the whole damn date. You asked me if I’d like to have dinner, and I am aware that you are scared to pick something I potentially could hate…but more than a bad Chicken Tandoori experience, is me having to plan our night out when it was your idea in the first place. Don’t ask me where I want to go. YOU DECIDE. The best way I’ve ever been asked out went something like this:
Manfriend: “Hey, I’d like to take you out this week for dinner, are you free Friday evening?”
Manfriend: “Be ready at 7, I’ll come get you.”
Me: “Where you wanna go?”
Manfriend: “I’ve got a plan, just be ready at 7pm”
Hearing that you’ve put some thought, effort, and have the balls to take charge is HOT. It won’t even matter if the place sucks, TRUST ME.
-Order Well: The ordering process is always a weird moment on a date…you’re both trying to figure out what the f*ck you want but then are trying to have conversation at the same time. I’m mostly trying to figure out what won’t give me bad breath or a teeth situation while trying to figure out if ordering another vodka makes me look like an alcoholic or just “fun”. And then you both ask each other what you are thinking about getting…and let’s be honest, neither one of you really care.
**Here’s a pro tip for guys, look at the menu before you go and even talk to the maitre d’ on the phone when you are making your reservation about what are NO FAIL options for ordering, while you are on the phone, make sure you know if they are cash only, or any special things about the place (this can derail a date). When you can suggest something to a lady or order FOR HER (chill out feminists), most gals will go with your opinion and feel like you know your sh*t. Bonus round, be confident and order a bottle of wine with the meal that you don’t take her suggestion on. Just order it, with confidence.
-Relocation Plan: So you’re going to need two plans here…Plan A is for when or IF for some reason the restaurant falls through. Come up with a place that’s close by, that could work, because you’ll never know when the place is booked up, your wait time will be extended, or you find out she has a shellfish allergy when you pull into the Joe’s Crab Shack parking lot (for God’s sake I’m joking). The second plan you’ll need to have at the ready is the after party…well…not party per se, but a place to grab a drink or extend the night if you both are wanting to do that. Nothing kills a mood like you using your Yelp app post dessert.
-Table Manners: Pull out chairs, excuse yourself properly, be the main contact for the server, and always tip well. These things are old-fashioned and seem like obvious things, but you wouldn’t believe how many dudes are missing things here. Think about the small stuff…if you see her water glass low, or that she needs another drink, call the waiter over and make sure it’s tended to, before she has to even think about it.
-Checktiquette: Gals, always offer to pay for your half. Guys, rarely let them. Whoever planned the date should pay. This rule lessens if you are seriously dating and it’s normal food eating time…once you get to the non-date dating stage, this rule relaxes and both people should be contributing.
Go eat food and multiply,