Attention Eyebrows Edition:
I am half-asian so this means I pretty much have half the eyebrows of anyone else in the damn world. Literally. They stop right smack in the middle of my brown bone and make me look constantly surprised. There’s nothing better than that, except everything else.
I shouldn’t complain though, I know some of you are dealing with a Frieda Khalo situation…and for that, I’m really sorry.
When I used to do make-up sort of professionally, (as professional as a sometimes tipsy high school senior can be), I used to preach the gospel of brows to all my clients. As an avid advocate for brow maintenance and management, I still get pretty pushy about the right and wrong way to wear your brows.
I’m gonna make a bold statement…I think eyebrows are THE most important thing on your face. If you only have time to tend to one thing, it should be them. Why you say? They frame your eyes, make your makeup look finished, and the right or wrong shape can make you go from bridge troll to Evita.
Some bad eyebrow decisions:
- Chola brows: Heavy pencil or tattooed eyebrows are just so…90’s people. Unless you are actually a chola (I want to be your friend), leave your sharpie behind and get some real brow filler and normal lip liner, k?
- Tweezerwoman: Put. the. tweezers. down. You’re the compulsive type and someone mistakenly gave you a diamond edge set of tweezers and a light-up magnifying mirror. I get it. But lady, you have actually removed facial features and you now look like Whoopi Goldberg. Give your brows a break and take a vacation from plucking.
- Bushwoman: You like things natural huh? Well, you look like you are smuggling caterpillars via your face (I’m talking to you Lourdes). It’s not cute nor is it good for your vision…I know you can’t see much behind those things. If this is what you let your eyebrows do, I don’t even want to think about the amount of care you give your nether regions. SICK.
- Over-Shaper: Your brows go in a natural shape and contour that was pretty well designed by the big guy upstairs. DO NOT FUCK WITH IT. If your eyebrows were supposed to be rectangles, they would have been made that way. Other than a minor shaping and clean up, you are just messing with fire at this point.
So what DO you need to do?
Here are a couple tips:
- Use a brow filler. Yes, you. EVERYONE. And no, you won’t look like a chola if you use a light touch and some restraint. I like a good brow powder, like Lorac’s Take a brow. Pick a filler that also has a wax to tame those renegade hairs. I suggest using a filler that is a little lighter than your natural hair color to ensure a natural look.
- Find a waxer you trust: Start with just a clean up and see how she does, then move into a full shaping if that goes well the next time you go in. Also, feel free to take a photo of the shape you want so you don’t end up with Geisha brows.
- Slow and steady: It takes a while to get your brows to the perfect shape. Don’t rush it and god forbid don’t have one too many mojitos and spend hours at that magnified mirror, you’ll only be sorry in the morning.
- Check out this eyebrow shaping guide that you’ve seen 108738 times in chick magazines: