1. Be a Better…Bartender.

    Texas Jalapeno Beer-Rita Edition:

    I’m convinced that Texas is still the best place on the planet, other than New York City. In an effort to share the joy of the Republic of Texas, and make all of you understand the depth and breadth of the ridiculousness that is my home state, we will be digitally drinking Texas Jalapeno Beer-Ritas today on this God-forsaken blog. 

    But before we start cocktailing, my top 10 reasons to love Texas (in no particular order):

    1) Guns and liquor being sold in the same location, not safe but for sure, badassery.

    2) The best mexican food in the world. 

    3) Rolling hills, sandy beaches, dry desert, and deep woods…all in one huge ass state.

    4) Austin, TX

    5) Friday Night Lights and the fact that it is pretty f*cking close to real life in Tejas.

    6) The fact that real cowboys actually STILL exist. 

    7) The worst fashion in the world, and the fact that the people don’t really care. Scrunchies, non-ironic jean shorts, and bejeweled tank tops coexist together in perfect heinous harmony.

    8) Driving with the windows down through small Texas towns, blaring rock and roll is the best thing EVER.

    9) Everyone still believes Texas is it’s own country. And they’re right.

    10) Drive thru adult beverage vendors.

    Texas Jalapeno Beer-Ritas:


    -5 Jalapenos sliced

    -1 bottle of tequila

    Do this a couple of days before you plan on making the ritas…add the sliced jalapenos to the bottle of tequila and let it marinate.


    -1 1/2 oz tequila

    -3/4 oz fresh lime juice

    -dash of fresh minced cilantro

    -6oz mexican beer (tecate preferred)

    -1 oz Cointreau 

    Mix and serve on the rocks. Garnish with Jalapeno slice.



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