Another F*cking Gift Guide Edition:
Yeah, I know.
Another gift guide…sigh. Listen, let’s change this from a gift guide to a “stuff I think is decent and wouldn’t mind getting from someone that feels obligated to buy me something” guide.
I already have these but kinda want another pair. You give me shorts that I can wear in the winter, and I’m on board. These HeatTech thermal pantaloons from Uniqlo are somewhere between snowbunny and sexy grandma, and that seems like a good place to be if you ask me. Heat Tech Knit Shorts from Uniqlo, $12.
The holidays mean family. Family means being driven to drink. Let’s make those drinks extra fancy this holiday season with these sickly packaged bitters. With flavors like mole, habenero, and celery shrub you’re going to expand your cocktailing repertoire and melt that family-related holiday stress away! Bittermans Bitters, $17.95.
Speaking of drinking, you’re gonna need to open some bottles this coming year, so why not look fancy-as-hell doing it? Here’s your answer to give the girl who drinks beer while wearing copious amounts of fur. Crescent Brass Bottle Opener, $60 at the Future Perfect Brooklyn.
Anything that is scary, creepy, or remotely haunting…is right up my alley. These decorative plates (for wall hanging, not eating) are the perfect answer to creeping those holiday guests out just enough for them not to overstay their welcome. Beat Up Creations on Etsy has a variety of these delightful gems that range from scary to funny, to absolutely nerdy (think R2D2). Zombie Love Wedding Plate, $32 from Beat Up Creations.
If you are looking to spend in the thousands for my Christmas gift, look no further. This Lindsay Adelman chandelier will do the trick. The Knotty Bubbles piece is one of my faves and anyone that thinks this light sucks, should take a real look at the way they are running their lives. Lindsay Adelman Knotty Bubbles Chandelier, $15k at the Future Perfect.
If you are a total cheapskate and mostly just want to say…”You are only worth .99 cents”, I can’t think of a better way to say it with panache. These Polaroids of expensive sh*t at Partners and Spade are pretty brills. (WARNING, DO NOT ACTUALLY GET ME THIS OR I WILL FIGHT YOU) It’s The Thought That Counts Polaroids, .99 cents at Partners and Spade.
OK, now we are talking. This is the perfect gift to get from that special someone…Very cool, not cheesy looking, and wearable daily. Giles and Brother include free engraving on their Pied-de-Biche Cuffs…sentimental BUT not vomit-inducing. WONDERFUL. Pied-de-Biche Cuff, $125 at Giles and Brother.
A good graphic print is always a good prezzie. I am longing for these two from J Hill Design. Texas and New York…two places that I love so much, that can create a wonderful little design diptych. New York and Texas prints, $30-50 each from J Hill Design.
Counting down the days until the next time you see your long-distance lover? This wall calendar from Sam Flax is a simple, classic design that doubles as time-keeper and art piece. And so cheap! Wall Calendar, $29.95 from Sam Flax.
And last but not least…for the geeky gal (me), pick up some rad new headphones to beat that commute into submission. Micro Gem Headphones, $35 from the Future Perfect.
Happy shopping bitches. Also, if you want to buy and or all of these things for me, I will gladly provide my mailing address.