Be Better Blog

Hi lovelys,

I’m off to an 8 day road trip with Cali boy…we are making our way through the South East with reckless abandon. I won’t be blogging this week but I will be instagramming at @calexander1985 and tweeting at @chinaealexander…so if you want lots of biscuit photos and pictures of alligators, check me out there!

To give you a little insight into our trip…here are the main pit stops!

NASHVILLE:

SMOKEY MOUNTAINS:

CHARLESTON:

SAVANNAH:

ATLANTA:

NOLA:

And the next weekend is a mystery!

See you fools on the flipside, ten pounds heavier, hopefully with a slight southern drawl.

xo Chinae

I am very aware that I am about to get a lot of panties in a bunch with this post. But, ladies and gentleman, stay with me. Unclench. Breathe. 

At one time I was mystified, when seemingly hot, normal, fun friends of mine would never get approached by the gentleman kind…and then why some who were less-hot, significantly less funny, and kind of a bore, would be beating men off with sticks.  I think I have some ideas of why this can happen.

Now, so I don’t get virtually put in the naughty corner for this post a couple of disclaimers:

1. These are not ways to engage in a long lasting relationship
2. This is totally about being approached, I can’t do anything about your awkwardness, or inability to communicate after the initial ”hello”
3. Again, these are not long term dating tips, and no I am not stuck in the 1950’s or in some weird anti-feminist movement…I’m speaking from experience. That’s it. 
4. If you want to say these don’t work, that’s fair. But get used to buying your own drinks. 
5. There are ALWAYS exceptions to every rule. You might find that some guys aren’t like this…but I’m speaking in generalities here, and if you are looking to dedicate your entire lifestyle to something you read on an idiot girl’s blog, you have larger issues. These are general guidelines, take them that way.

OK..let’s get down to business.

5 Small Reasons You Aren’t Being Approached By The Male Species:

-Red Lipstick: Let’s start small here ladies. I am with you on the red lipstick bandwagon. I love it and think it makes you look striking, classic, and fashion forward. But guess what? No guy wants that shit near them. It’s scary..like tampons, crying fits, and drop-crotch pants. Even if you just met, they are still thinking that if they kissed you, they would end up looking like Heath Ledger as the Joker (RIP). You might warn them it’s the color stay kind, or that it’s a lip stain…they DO. NOT. CARE. (and do not understand what lip stain is, thank God) They might think you look beautiful, but it’s a hurdle that most are a little wary of. Save the red lipstick for girl’s night or when you aren’t looking to have male interaction. No one wants the Scarlett Letter on their face at da’ club. 

-Clothes That Girl’s Like: You’re getting ready, you’ve got your floral shirt on, buttoned all the way up, shredded denim vest rocking, striped skinny pants looking fly…heavy on the jewels…hair in some braided coiffe. You feel amazing. If you were in Soho, surely the Sartorialist would ask you for a photo and millions would be inspired. Your girlfriends can’t stop talking about how “chic” you look tonight. And then what…you go out and NO ONE TALKS TO YOU. Except maybe that girl in the bathroom, who asks you which Opening Ceremony location you got your shoes from, because they were totally out of those platform wedges at the LA store. So what’s your problem? YOU ARE WEARING CLOTHES THAT GIRLS LIKE. I mean, don’t get me wrong…I know lots of guys who appreciate cutting-edge style and daring fashion, but even the most apprecitave guy will be intimidated by all of “that” at first. Also, there are a lot of dudes who just won’t get it (they might still be awesome). I am all for being an individual and dressing outlandishly, trust me, but if I was going somewhere in the hopes that someone was going to chat me up, I certainly wouldn’t be trying to channel Tokyo street style in that moment. As crass and shallow as this sounds, men probably want to see you in something simple, showing off your best assets, so they can really see YOU, not just spend 10 minutes trying to understand if that’s a shirt or pants or some siamese shirt-pant. Show some leg, wear colors that flatter you, and be stylish, not ridiculous. After you snag the man, wear whatever you want…by that time, he’ll be warmed up!

-Gaggle of Girls: Who doesn’t like girls night, right? Well, that’s all great, but if a man has to tuck and roll to penetrate a wall of 15 of your “besties” singing “We Are Young” at the top of their lungs…he’ll probably just pass. You have created a Berlin wall of estrogen. No man wants to traverse that. The easiest way to meet people is when you are in groups of 3-4…not your entire adult sorority/book club/AA group.

-Hair Up: Wear your hair down and add some volume. If that sounds shallow, it totally is. Again, this is just a tip for the first meeting, not for the rest of your life. It’s just plain pretty when it’s down and flowy, and if you have short hair, do something with it that doesn’t involve attaching birds or headbands or scarfs. PLEASE. 

-I Can Do Everything: Change your attitude. If you give off the vibe that you know everything about everything and you can get your own drink, and move your own furniture…that’s great. Just get used to doing that for the rest of your life. You aren’t being helpless, but you are creating space for men to be men and help you out once in a while. I bet that “We Can Do It” girl is still out there, single and wearing that damn headscarf. 

NOTE: If you are a pissed off woman or man after reading this, please see my disclaimers above and take things on the internet a little less seriously. Oh, and send all hate mail to bebetterblogger@gmail.com!

Happy Thursday Nugs!

xo Chinae

About a month ago, I was pissing and moaning about how I didn’t go to Coachella, and blah blah blah. Then comes the torture of perusing all the “Top Ten Best Looks at Cochella” blog posts that make me want to hang myself with a sueded-fringy bag’s strap. Soon after, I swore to bestie Becky that I would bring my own Coachella to NYC via flower head piece. This may or may not have also been inspired by pro-drudgery musician Lana Del Rey who I hate/love the shit out of.  

So about a week ago…I crafted. A lot.

I was gonna make like…1-2 head pieces. I think total I created 8 looks…and my fingers felt like I had played guitar like Hendrix for two hours. Worth it. 

Here’s What To Do:

Step 1: Buy crafty crap. I did it in one foul swoop at the flower market, but I am sure if you live in a suburb you can head over to your local Michael’s/Joanne’s/or another store with the first name of a person. Here’s the shopping list:

• Bark-Covered Wire
• Floral Tape
• Paper Flowers with wire base

Step 2: Measure your big head. OK…maybe I just have a big head, but take your bark-covered wire and measure it around the crown of your head, where you want your headband to sit. Now add 2 inches. 

Step 3: Twist ends to form a circle. Why did I make you add 2 inches? So you have extra room for twisting, dummy. Twist the ends together and then wrap with a 6 inch length of floral tape, around the twisted part so you don’t pierce your head on accident. 

Step 4: Wire on your flowers. Twist the wire part of the flower base around your circular crown in a random assortment. I suggest switching up direction and distance, so you don’t end up looking like a tacky flower girl. 

Step 5: Cover your mess. After all the flowers are attached, wrap floral wire around the portions that you can visablly see the wrapped wire. It’s weird stuff and sticks to itself…I was amazed for way too long at this. 

Tips to Sporting Your Flower Crown:

• Do not wear to a business casual work environment. You’ll probably get fired.
• Wear it with your hair down. If you match this with a bun…you might look like you work at the local renaissance fair or you may be mistaken for 
• When you are making this, remember that you are a normal person, not a famous person, or a model. So no, you can’t pull off a Carrie/Bird in the Hair Moment when you are just on your way to get a bagel. Tone it down ladycat.
• Keep it simple…too many colors, textures, and shapes are just going to make you  look like you work down at the Tropicana with Ricky Ricardo. 
• Try to use as many natural materials as possible…plastic flowers and satin ribbon can go tacky tacky tacky REAL quick. Think Sienna Miller not Selena. (RIP) 

Send me photos of your flower crowns!!!!!

xo Chinae

I’m hosting my largest event of the year at our showroom this weekend…and please, pray for my sanity. Saturday, 1000 design professionals (and at least one homeless person) will flood the walls of my space, eating and drinking to their hearts’ content.

Since this week is  so f*cking busy, my post is kind of a tease but I’ll leave you with two cocktail recipes that I’ll be serving on Saturday for your enjoyment, especially since most of you aren’t invited. 

Fresh Mango Margarita:  

• Ice
• 1 1/2 Ounces Tequila
• 1 Ounce Fresh Lime Juice
• 1/2 Ounce Cointreau
• Fresh Mango Puree

Spiked Cucumber Lemonade:

• 1 part Pearl Cucumber Vodka
• 2 parts fresh lemonade
• Splash of soda
• Mint
• Ice

Pour vodka and lemondade over the ice. Add a splash of soda on top and garnish with a sprig of mint. Hello summer. 

Hope you enjoy some cocktails on this dreary-ass Monday!

xo Chinae

Instagram Edition:

I have an addiction. And that addiction is Instagram. 

Surprisingly, I almost like it more than Facebook. The perks? You don’t have to hear about people getting pooped on by their own babies, the quinoa bullshit someone ate for lunch, or how often someone is hitting their cardio yogalates class every week. BUT, warning…you may have to visualize some of these things in photo form.

But I have a confession, even more than my addiction. 

I am bad at Instagram. I have committed every cardinal sin that you can imagine on this social network…but I want to e-repent and try not to do these things ever again! And mostly, I’m sick of seeing you post these things too, k?

P.S. No one is allowed to get butt-hurt over this post because I have only used my own photos and idiocy as examples.

The 5 Instagram Photos That Everyone Posts, But Collectively Everyone Hates:

• Obscure Nature Shots: You know what people on Instagram love? Flowery branches on a blue sky background. It’s the irresistible photo because, hell yes, it’s pretty… it sorta makes us look like we go outside once in awhile…and there is a good chance that with the right crop…we all can look a little artsy. Other favorites in the “Obscure Nature” category? Final moments before sunset, the SuperMoon, close up flowers, and lonely pier leading into choppy lake. These get boring, but they are tolerable I suppose (and I’ll probably keep posting them).

• Moody Coffee: Coffee photos are never f*cking happy, are they? They always look like the final cup of joe before someone is going to be publicly executed. Oh, and it’s never going to be a styrofoam cup of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee on a formica countertop, next to a copy of US Weekly or In Touch Magazine. If there’s reading material in the shot, it’s gonna be the Times/The New Yorker/Kinfolk/Great Gatsby/Steinbeck. TRUST. We curate our coffee photos like we are trying to get laid via Instagram…the proper TYPE of coffee, perfect latte art, the RIGHT coffee shop tagged, a beautiful table surface, and some thing else like a casually-placed glasses, a book, or a pastry that cost upwards of $8. Pretention at it’s finest people.

• Weather Update: I did this the other day..and then immediately hated myself for it. I took a screenshot of the weather on my iPhone and then posted it to Instagram. This makes no fucking sense. I act like I am getting my weather updates from some desert shaman via smoke signals that no one else has access to. Hey loser (me..and sometimes you), we all have frackin’ weather on our phones or we could do it the old fashioned way and look outside.(and yes, I am yelling at myself right now)

• Window Seat: Shit, I forgot to bring those trophies with me today. Because you deserve some sort of award that you flew on a plane and took photos from your window seat of God’s good creation and now are taking photo credit for it right? Oh wait. No, no…we don’t deserve a viral pat on the back for breaking sky law to snap a pic of Iowa as we fly over. Also, you are just trying to piss others off completely…you’re either travelling to exotic places for work or going on vacation. Either way, I want to swiftly take both of your knees out while I look through my feed during Excel spreadsheet formatting at my desk. Stop being an asshole.

• Cocktail Blur: When I break the two cocktail threshold, I will be putting up a blurry photo of the libation I am currently chugging. This is not interesting for anyone involved and honestly, I have to pause my drinking to take the photo and try and pick a filter that makes it look mildly appetizing. I am going to try and stop this habit, but I really get invested in my mojitos and want to share the joy with the world around me.

All this to say…let’s try and be better before pulling that proverbial trigger. I have to say…there are two types of photos I never get tired of seeing…bring on the PUPPIES AND ARCHITECTURE!!!!

What are your least favorite type of Instagram photos? Who are your favorites to follow?

 Happy faux-photography!

Chinae

Mish-mosh post Edition:

I love New York. We all know this…but this week I’ve gotten a little overwhelmed with a couple things and it’s time for a rant. I haven’t ranted in a little while, because my life is f*cking awesome, but today, I’m feeling especially generous. So here we go. 

The following list are just some things that are REALLY annoying and they need to be addressed ASAP.

-Snobbery Shut-down: I am so stinkin’ tired of pretention. There is an entire store opening near me that only sells gourmet mayonaise. This makes me want to move to Pennsylvania and become Amish. What are we doing with our lives that would warrant an entire shop of MAYO? People still have never flown on an airplane before and I am eating condiments flavored with truffle oil and Native American tears. I’ll say it right now, I like nice things, but you know what else is great? Red Lobster Cheddar Bay biscuits, Bagel Bites, diner coffee, re-runs of Jem and the Holograms, and sometimes…Wal-Mart. I like crappy stuff mixed in with awesome stuff, and I hope it never goes away. Not everything needs to be farm-raised, hand-woven, or plucked by woodland fairies. We are all going to be OK, I promise. 

-West Coast Hate: Look, I admit it. I used to hate California and the West Coast…but now that my other half lives there, I’m starting to appreciate the left side of our fair country and feel like maybe we should all lighten up on them a little. There are a few things that just might be better about California than New York and that’s alright. LA isn’t just Hollywood, NYC isn’t just Broadway. LA has better mexican food, NYC has pizza, bagels, and fusion on lock. We both make decent cocktails, so let’s just cheers, get over the 3000 miles of animosity, and decide to mutually hate on all those other states in the middle. (Just kidding…sorta.)

-Shit New Yorkers ALWAYS Say: There are a couple of things that we LOVE to talk about. We pretty much could just program three things into our social networking queues and be done. Maybe we could lessen this a little?

1. How much coffee or caffeinated substances we’ve had today. We really like to talk about this one folks. I do it too. Just yesterday I excitedly instagrammed a photo exclaiming about the large girth of my iced coffee. We love a good photo of a latte with heart shaped foam, the fact that we had Stumptown 46 times in the last week, and that we might have a permanent heart murmur from caffeine intake. This is not interesting for anyone except ourselves.
2. How late we are at the office. We secretly love saying how late we have to work…it becomes like some badge of honor for a New Yorker. “My life sucks more than your life, and I get paid less!” we shout proudly from our offices. But, understand,people aren’t commiserating, nor do they think we are cooler for being overworked. They are making dinner with their families and playing in their spacious backyards with their labrador retrievers. Get over yourself workaholic, and maybe force yourself out of the office to see land, sky, and water once in awhile. Brag about that!
3. How we hate hipsters (unknowingly actually being one). This speaks for itself. We all have become some level of hipster, just learn to love it. Go home, make artisanal cocktails, listen to your record player, write songs that will never see the light of day in your Field Notes journal, and be OK with it.

-Exercise and Healthy Eating is Getting Weird: No longer can you just go to the gym, or run around the park. No, no…this is all too normal. I can’t keep up with all the crazy shit people are doing to maintain an average body shape these days. Unless you are on top of a greased stripper pole, doing army crawls across a bed of nails, or taking a cardio dance ballet cross-training class, you aren’t doing it right apparently. Also an update, food is overrated now. Let’s all just drink weird blended shit and talk about how much juicing is CHANGING OUR LIVES. Disclaimer, there’s nothing wrong with health, or interesting workouts, or juicing…it’s just getting to a ridiculous level of intensity. Everything in moderation lovies. 

OK, I’m done. That was very ranty and should hold me over for a few days. Thank you and have a nice weekend.

Chinae

I am very excited to announce that the non-profit I support and donate my time to, Alegria, is hosting their annual Benefit of Hope this Monday. We’ve put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this event and we hope that you all can make it to Soho that night for a good cause and of course, some cocktails and yums!

ALEGRIA inspires and empowers the most underserved youth and their communities to achieve their potential and transform their lives through the arts.

Pretty great huh? Yep, I wish I would’ve met these people when I was little…I would’ve had a book deal by now with their encouragement, but alas, here I sit writing a tumblr blog. sigh.

Anyway, wanna come to the party and support a good cause on your Monday night? Get your tickets HERE.

You can also watch our documentary HERE. (It’s awesome, and not just because I’m in it)

The first orphanage we supported is located right outside of Lima, Peru and after working for a week at the community, we treated ourselves to a little Peruvian culture…meaning cocktails. 

Our favorite? Pisco sours. 

Let’s celebrate Alegria, friday, and partyin’ partyin’ with a cocktail shall we?

PISCO SOUR:

1½ oz Pisco
1 oz Simple Syrup
1 oz Lemon / Lime Juice
½ Egg White (1 tsp powder)
Dash Angostura Bitters

Add all ingredients in a shaker with ice. Shake that baby until the drink becomes frothy. Strain into a rocks glass with fresh ice.

See you Monday and happy weekend!

xo Chinae

Attention Eyebrows Edition:

I am half-asian so this means I pretty much have half the eyebrows of anyone else in the damn world. Literally. They stop right smack in the middle of my brown bone and make me look constantly surprised. There’s nothing better than that, except everything else.

I shouldn’t complain though, I know some of you are dealing with a Frieda Khalo situation…and for that, I’m really sorry. 

When I used to do make-up sort of professionally, (as professional as a sometimes tipsy high school senior can be), I used to preach the gospel of brows to all my clients. As an avid advocate for  brow maintenance and management, I still get pretty pushy about the right and wrong way to wear your brows.

I’m gonna make a bold statement…I think eyebrows are THE most important thing on your face. If you only have time to tend to one thing, it should be them. Why you say? They frame your eyes, make your makeup look finished, and the right or wrong shape can make you go from bridge troll to Evita.

Some bad eyebrow decisions:

• Chola brows: Heavy pencil or tattooed eyebrows are just so…90’s people. Unless you are actually a chola (I want to be your friend), leave your sharpie behind and get some real brow filler and normal lip liner, k?

• Tweezerwoman: Put. the. tweezers. down. You’re the compulsive type and someone mistakenly gave you a diamond edge set of tweezers and a light-up magnifying mirror. I get it. But lady, you have actually removed facial features and you now look like Whoopi Goldberg. Give your brows a break and take a vacation from plucking.

• Bushwoman: You like things natural huh? Well, you look like you are smuggling caterpillars via your face (I’m talking to you Lourdes). It’s not cute nor is it good for your vision…I know you can’t see much behind those things. If this is what you let your eyebrows do, I don’t even want to think about the amount of care you give your nether regions. SICK.

• Over-Shaper: Your brows go in a natural shape and contour that was pretty well designed by the big guy upstairs. DO NOT FUCK WITH IT. If your eyebrows were supposed to be rectangles, they would have been made that way. Other than a minor shaping and clean up, you are just messing with fire at this point.

So what DO you need to do?

Here are a couple tips:

1. Use a brow filler. Yes, you. EVERYONE. And no, you won’t look like a chola if you use a light touch and some restraint. I like a good brow powder, like Lorac’s Take a brow. Pick a filler that also has a wax to tame those renegade hairs. I suggest using a filler that is a little lighter than your natural hair color to ensure a natural look.
2. Find a waxer you trust: Start with just a clean up and see how she does, then move into a full shaping if that goes well the next time you go in. Also, feel free to take a photo of the shape you want so you don’t end up with Geisha brows.
3. Slow and steady: It takes a while to get your brows to the perfect shape. Don’t rush it and god forbid don’t have one too many mojitos and spend hours at that magnified mirror, you’ll only be sorry in the morning.
4. Check out this eyebrow shaping guide that you’ve seen 108738 times in chick magazines:

Happy Plucking!

xo Chinae

Friends, Lovers, Haters…this week’s a biggie. Two of my very best in the whole wide world are getting married.

To each other. 

This is them. Absolutely the cutest. Meet Becky and Victor.

Here’s my week in a nutshell:

Tuesday+Wednesday: Gym, Tan, Laundry…and cleaningfest 2012

Thursday: Bachelorette Party aka “The Day I’ll Get Pretty Drunk and Tell Becky I Love Her Over and Over on the Corner of Essex St. and Allen”

Friday: Rehearsal of the best day ever and eating at a legit Chinatown restaurant (stoked)

Saturday: Wedding Day…also know as “Crying in my Champagne Day” or “The Day I Sucked at Giving A MOH Speech”

Sunday: Recovery and Bye Bye Boyfriend Day, also known as “Jealous I’m Not Going To A Tropical Honeymoon” Day

So as you can see, I’m going to be a busy gal this week with probably very little time to write really sarcastic things on my corner of the internet. Forgive me? I’ll be back Monday with a wedding recap and just so you know…I’ll probably still have a lingering hangover headache.

Here are photos of the people I am really excited for this weekend: 

The Groom and I, Victor Paguia

The Best Bride and Probably the Best Person I know…Becky!

And of course…excited to see the Cali boy for some wedding time fun!

xo Chinae

(first photo by the very talented Eric Ryan Anderson, the rest by my best friend, iPhone) 

Moving might be my least favorite thing in the world. Thanks parentals for making me do it every 3-4 years of my life until I was 22, if I become a weird hermit by 30, I’m blaming you.

Anyway…by the end of my adolescence, I just learned a fun little trick…throw everything away and you can always get another one if you’re desperate enough. Well that was all good and well until now…I moved to New York City.

Moving in NYC is just different than most places…normal Americans get professional movers, adequate/sturdy boxes, appropriate vehicles, and spend weeks packing their huge amounts of stuff and utilize items like dollies and sharpies to label things…but not New Yorkers. 

No, we decided a long time ago to just to bribe our friends with bagels and mimosas, throw our stuff in the 10385 canvas bags we’ve received for free at the museum/IKEA/concert/Whole Foods, and take some sketchy van we rented on Craigslist to our new abode. We really suck. No wonder people will continue to live in a total shithole just to avoid this. 

Here are 5 Be Better Tips to Moving:

1) Packing is a Virtue: I have showed half-drunk/half-asleep to several moves and wipe my little eyes in disbelief, because I feel like I’ve showed up on the wrong day. Why you say? BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS STILL INTACT (and my friend is enjoying a mimosa at the dining table reading the Times). Friends, if I come help you move, and give up my Saturday…you better be prepared. I don’t want to crate up your crusty thong underwear or sort your Morgan Freeman dvd collection. I signed up for moving, not packing. This was not in the contract of friendship we signed long ago…and the only thing that can appease me now is a fully-paid for, beach vacation. Your punishment will be, forever reminding you that you are the worst. 

2) Boxes of Books and Other Horrible Strategies: I seriously love my friends, but some of you couldn’t pack a f*cking box if you had a gun to your head. I mean, I’m going to say it…I think big boxes suck to move in-city…unless you live in the ‘burbs and have a car/van/moving company…they make almost no sense. BUT even worse is when you have a 5-fl walk up and someone hands you a snack-size ziploc baggie full of stuff and tells you to make the trip up. NO, make each trip worth our while with medium sized boxes, crates, and large bags and pile them on me like I’m a donkey (burro) in Little Mexico. But on the other hand…(and I’m only going to say this once) stop packing your entire Encyclopedia Brittanica collection in one box. We are not the American Gladiators, we are just your ex-friends and we cannot possibly carry 367lbs of knowledge in one trip up the stairs. How about volumes A-E with some sweaters on top? Good? Good. 

3) Bribery Tips: Newsflash…mimosas are no longer a good way to bribe your friends to help you move. The champagne you bought costs $8 dollars and we are now tispy AND have a massive headache. We also have to drive that crackvan from Craigslist around the city for you…which is already a terrible idea since most of us haven’t been behind the wheel of a car (much less a windowless cargo van) in years…so adding in mimosas..not great. Bagels are in theory a good idea…but then who really wants to sit down and eat when you just want to get this damn thing over with. ***I have to say, my friend Rachel did it right this past weekend…come help me move, and get treated to brunch after.*** It’s the perfect tactic because people are going to need some serious yums after all that rigamarole and it’s way better than some god-forsaken donut platter from the grocery store. Also, just a protip, go to the store and get a slew of bottled water, sounds simple but it’s rare when it happens. (oh and if you are rich enough to get real movers, make sure you still offer them water, don’t be an asshole)

4) Teamwork: Make teams on the front and back end of the trips…that way people can commit less time and they can potentially stay as near to where they live as possible. They’ll love you for this and may even volunteer to help on both ends.

5) Information Station: I don’t like being lied to. You know what’s the same as lying in my book? Misinformation or not giving full disclosure. When you are asking people to help, give them all the info. 6 floor walk up? Pack of wild dogs living next door? Russian mob in your new building? I WANT TO KNOW. I don’t want to show up to a surprise of 20 flights of stairs, I need to mentally prepare for that sh*t and choose my footwear accordingly.

Happy moving and yes, I’ll still keep helping as long as you follow these rules!

xo Chinae

Neon + Neutrals Edition:

We’ve all heard that neon is the “thing” currently…or now some fashion gals are starting to say neon is so “over”…this pretty much means that stores we can actually afford, are starting to carry our fluorescent friends. Here’s my thing…I love neon, mostly because it makes me feel tan, and feeling tan means feeling skinner. There, I said it…again, hate mail can be sent to bebetterblogger@gmail.com. I’m just the internet truth teller, alright?

There’s one problem with neon though, if you wear it the right way, you look fucking awesome. You wear it the wrong way, you WILL look like a crossing guard or the cover star of a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper minus one unicorn (If you were not a kid of the 90’s you will not get this reference). 

So, how do we make neon work, in places other than some blacklit gay dance club where people are doing interpretive dance moves to Ke$ha with mini glowsticks in their mouths?

Tips, ahead!

+Keep Your Face Classy: If you mix fluorescent colors with equally offensive makeup, you will look trampy. Unless slutty crossing guard is your thing, keep your makeup clean, fresh, and classic. Pull your hair back in a sock bun (my favorite thing ever) or wear it loose and down…Just watch combining all the Pinterest tricks you’ve ever learned into this look. Neon speaks for itself so keep the rest of your face/body simple and pretty.

+Mix in Some Neutrals:This is the key to wearing neon and not looking like a crazy person eating their own underwear on 6th avenue. Pair your pops of neon with lots of neutrals. Try a camel colored jacket, or a black and white outfit instead of their colorful companions. Even while color blocking (as you do), utilize a subdued piece to balance out the Rainbow Connection vibe you are throwing out. 

+Accessories Are Less Scary: Let’s say you’re that girl who isn’t exactly a fashion maven, but you stick with what’s being styled on the Ann Taylor LOFT mannequins. Sound like you? Well, this is your lucky day. I’m never going to get you into a pair of highlighter pants, but can I suggest a hot pink belt over that grey cardi? Use accessories to dabble in trends, injecting an otherwise un-trendy outfit with a little va-va-voom. Some great options to neoncceserize (that is a horrible made-up word) are: a piece of jewlery (preferably a necklace), a skinny belt, a bright shoe, or a neon purse. Muy excellante. 

+Get a tan: Well, I threw this in there because in my opinion, when pale people wear neon they look sick, but you don’t need to be all tan ala Dog the Bounty Hunter…just maybe wait until you gotten a little Spring/Summer sunkissing done, and then layer on those brights!

Love you all, and please don’t make fun of the photos of me, I’m aware that it looks like I am doing a self photo shoot for my Myspace page. 

xo Chinae

I’m from Texas, and once a year, the state offers a weekend of tax-free purchases on clothing, school supplies etc. I have seen parking-related brawls, have witnessed a near eye-gouging over a pair of BCBG white jeans, and have since vowed to never step foot into a retail establishment when this time rolls around. Think…NYC on any culturally significant parade day (I love you Puerto Ricans, but your parade makes me want to move to the suburbs).

Well once again, New York has trumped Texas and therefore validated me making the trek across this fair country to the land of impossibly high rent and hot dogs with toppings like kimchi, coleslaw, and organic placenta (OK, maybe not placenta). 

NY state goes back and forth regarding sales tax on clothing items, and finally, once again, they’ve removed sales tax on clothing and shoes costing less than $110 bucks. This is good news people. 

The state officially says, “Sales of eligible clothing and footwear costing less than $110 per item or pair are exempt from the state’s 4% sales tax and local tax in those localities that enacted the exemption.” This also includes the 4.5% city, 4% state and .0375% Metropolitan Commuter Transportation District tax (whatever that is).

Sunday is the first day of the exemption people, so go forth and shop. And if you need some help finding the right places to buy some new duds for under $110 bucks, I’ve included a short list of some Park Slope gems below:

Creating a functional team of workers is a complex web of personality clashes, professional experience, personal preferences, and technical skills that inevitably has to balance to produce a product or service that ACTUALLY makes sense for people outside the walls of said business. This is complicated. And rarely actually reaches equilibrium, but when it does…oh it’s a beautiful thing people. 

The beauty of business is that it’s run by people.

This is also why it can get ugly…FAST. No matter how hard of a worker Susan is, if Keith just sits at his desk and picks his nose…the team cannot function. No matter how good Brian’s ideas are, if Lisa never gives him a dose of reality, nothing will ever get done…because EVERYTHING will be a good idea and the team is then knee-deep in too much good work that will all get done in a half-assed manner.

By no means do I think I have it all figured out, but to my knowledge, you’ve gotta comprise a team (or have multiple sides to your personality), to create that well-oiled machine. 

The 5 Essential Personalities In Creating Workplace Harmony:

-The Dreamer: This is your coworker that wants to bottle rainbows, decides that you should do a website redesign in a week’s timeline, thinks that NOTHING is impossible. They seem to be living in an alternate universe where money, time, and workload doesn’t exist. To the Do’ers and Realists, this person will inevitably annoy the living shits outta you…but we need them. We need them to create a huge cloud of far-reaching ideas to distill down into a few good, palatable, smart projects to spring off of. Their function is to ignite creativity and you should love them for that.

-The Realist: The Realist could also be called: The FunKiller, The Bubble Popper, and El Negativo…and yes, I am this person at my office (sometimes…most of the time). There must be a team member that brings The Dreamers back to earth and takes a creative far-fetched idea, and injects a dose of reality and fact into the process. As much as he/she can come off as a Debbie Downer, they will be the ones to dissect when a project or idea is actually worthwhile, and when they back something, you’ll have their full support and hard work. Also, they prevent superfluous shit from being added to the workload…so thank them when you actually get to leave early on those Summer Fridays and you are drinking margs in your bikini by 3:30PM in your rooftop baby pool.

-The Do’er: The workhorse of the team…their life might be consumed with checking things off the list and getting things done, while they don’t provide much of a strong opinion either way in the decision making process. They just want to grind, and God bless them for that. Just a tip, make sure to validate that their hard work is noticed or they’ll start to get a little grumpy. 

-The Advocate: Sometimes the advocate can be the peace maker, sometimes they battle on behalf of the client or customer. The main function that makes them awesome is that they are able to look at things from all sides and views. They can take a step back and analyze what’s best from the client view, from the company view, the position of the team, from a financial standpoint, and aren’t afraid to ask the motivation behind the decision-making process. The Advocate is generally someone that has long-term vision and understands the communication between creator and user. Listen to them to get out of your own head for a sec, and see the bird’s eye view of what you are trying to accomplish.

-The Techie: Probably the most simple, but most important person to have on your team, The Techie actually puts in place how something is able to happen. I don’t just mean your technical designer or IT guy…I mean, they see the plan in its full scope, and will be focused on the HOW rather than the “what” or “why” that the rest of the team might be concentrating on. No matter how good of an idea you have, or how hard you work, you will need this person to actually figure out the landscape and plan of executing vision. 

The point is…value the people you work with (or the different sides of your thinking if you are self-employed)…and know that each part is needed and is equally important to have as part of the process. It functions like the body, if one thing is missing, you might not be moving, thinking, hearing, or making things well.

Sorry this was so serious. I’ll go back to blogging about vodka, and FUPAS tomorrow.

Chinae

p.s. It is winter again, and I am furious. That is all.

Honey, Come Home Edition:

I don’t eat sugar or any form of natural sweetener….that being said, my body is made up of 82% Splenda. 

BUT…with Spring comes thoughts of flowering plants, bees, and the gentle buzzing of a garden. Also, I was reading about some woman in Kinfolk Magazine that became a beekeeper, and then I wanted to be a beekeeper, and then I remembered that I f*cking hate bugs and went back to thinking about shoes. 

Here’s a great sounding honey-based recipe for a majestic Friday afternoon:

The WHITE HONEYBEE:

• 1 serving Gin (preferably Bombay Sapphire or your favorite locally-made gin)
• 1/2 tsp. Honey
• 4 oz. Milk
• 1 Cinnamon Stick
• 1 Rosemary Sprig

In your shaker, combine gin, rosemary, cinnamon, and honey…shake hard with ice! Strain this combo into your glass and then pour the milk on top gently. Garnish with a sprig of rosemary.

Friday..Friday..FRIIIIDAAAY!!!!

xo Chinae

My refrigerator no longer looks like a food-containing appliance, but rather, a save the date graveyard…chock full of your smiling/dramatic/lovey letter pressed selves.

Since you are all paying lots of money for me to come and eat over-priced food and drink your open bar dry…I feel like I need to remind myself how to be a good wedding guest. Mostly so I continue to get invited to your blooming nuptials, to ensure that my future of free risotto balls is secure. 

4 Ways to Be A Better Wedding Guest:

-Keep All Clothes On: I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this…but I actually can’t remember a wedding I’ve been to, where someone hasn’t done something weird as shit, and inevitably takes their suit/dress/dyed shoes off. Mostly the shoes thing, but I’ve witnessed a few shirtless interactions as well. People, this is not the 1992 Middleton High School Prom, nor is this a Nascar after party. Keep your shit together. Girls, if you are wearing painful shoes, and you really want to get low, for God’s sake, bring a pair of flats. No one wants to see your HEB feet running through the halls of a chiffon-covered convention center at 1AM. 

-Be Cool: Do not stalk the cater waiters, asking when more mini-ceviche bowls are coming out of the kitchen. Do not ask the bartenders for 37 Patron shots, your friends, the bride and groom have to pay up for your habits. Do not make out with the Mother of the Bride, yes she’s hot and newly divorced, still…NO. Do not stuff appetizers in your small evening bag that’s shaped like a shell, so you can have insta-late night food. Do not do the worm (EVER). 

-Send Your Gift Via Post: You have a year to send a wedding present according the Emily Post, after attending a wedding. Do the bride and groom a favor and send that shit via the USPS. Don’t bring the gift to the wedding because all you’re doing is torturing some poor bridesmaid, who has to cart that shit back. After all, the poor girl just needs a cocktail, k?

-Don’t Be an Attention Whore: I understand weddings are like…YOUR FAVORITE THING EVER..but guess what? This is actually not just a party for you. This is someone’s wedding day, and you licking the parquet floor while doing a choreographed dance by yourself, isn’t helping matters.  Save the over-the-top behavior for the after party or your 30th birthday, and remember…no one’s grandmother wants to watch you grind with the MC. 

Cheers to Lots More Wedded Bliss!

xo Chinae